All hail THE Random Walk-Ons

Thanks to Woody Paige from the Denver Post for this article.

NEW ORLEANS — THE Random Walk-Ons — my new posse, entourage and homies — strolled Bourbon Street two nights back — casually dressed because the Ohio State coaches wanted the players to maintain a low profile in the French Quarter — and every time they spotted LSU players, who were outfitted in official purple, the Duplicate Number Boys would act like they were fans of the Bayou Bengals and ask if they could pose for cellphone photos with them.

When you never get to play, especially in a national championship game, it's the little things in life that amuse you and make you happy.

"It was great fun," Kyle Ruhl said Saturday morning.

Ruhl and a dozen other Buckeyes were sitting in the lower stands at the Superdome, off to the side of the other players, on Media Day, and nobody was interviewing or videotaping them.

I gravitated in their direction.

"You look like the saddest group I've ever seen."

"No," Ruhl replied, "we are THE (capital "THE" as in "THE Ohio State University") Random Walk-Ons. We're happy. We're at the championship game."

Notice he didn't say "playing in the championship game."

The Random Walk-Ons are a whole bunch of guys who could be named "Rudy."

"You must be a kicker," I said to Ruhl, No. 15, a double-digit he shares with another player.

I checked later. Ruhl is listed at 6-feet-1, 163 pounds.

If he ate creole and Cajun food and pralines and pecan pie all day long, he wouldn't weigh 150 pounds.

"Punter?" No. "Defensive back? "You're 0-for-3."

"OK, what position do you play?"

"I'm a wide receiver," he said proudly.

He's a junior from Powell, Ohio.

"How many passes have you caught in your career?"

"Uh, none."

A fellow R.W-O. said: "But he has good grades." Majoring in Family Restaurant Management. (Huh? "Do you want fries with that burger?")

"Won't matter," Ruhl, who seemed to be the spokesman for this tightly knit collection of players who don't play. "If we win Monday night, in 10 years, people will stare at my national championship ring, and I can say I was a member of the team that beat LSU in 2008."

Another of the Duplicate Number Boys (because the Buckeyes have more than 100 players on the traveling squad) used to play minor-league baseball, and the others include a fifth-string quarterback, a seventh-string running back and one more with an undecided major and an undetermined position.

I sat in the middle of them for an hour and said: "There'll be more cameras and press over here than you can shake a stick at."

Soon, cameras showed up. I was asked about the DVD, which apparently is more popular than the Paris and the Pamela home movies.

It has been reported nationally that coach Jim Tressel is using me and several other media Bozos as motivational tools for the Buckeyes. Why do I always get in trouble?

For Christmas, Tressel sent each player, even my peeps, a present — a DVD of ESPN commentators criticizing Ohio State's football team.

I honestly don't remember ripping the Buckeyes. But memory does not always serve.

"Oh, you're on there," said one of my walk-on peeps. "You thought our schedule was too easy. You talked about how we got beat by Florida last year and didn't deserve to be here this year. It wasn't so bad. There was worse."

"I take it all back," I said.

"Who's going to win?" asked a player from Hubbard or Boardman or Kitts Hill or one of those small Ohio towns.

"THE Ohio State wins in quadruple overtime," I replied, and they cheered. "But I'll tell the LSU players the same thing when they're here."

THE Random Walk-Ons were thinking about where they would stand on the sideline Monday night to get the best view of the game. "Maybe a lot of Buckeyes will get injured in the game, and you'll all get in and lead the victory in overtime," I said in order to get them excited. "Sure," one said. "About 75 of them would have to get hurt for that to happen."

I love these guys. We can relate to them. They're not on scholarship. They practice every day with the team and don't get to play on Saturdays or in a national championship game, and they don't even get a letter.

Ruhl gestured toward the players who were being interviewed. "See him. He was one of us when the season started, but he got a scholarship, gets into games and will get a letter. He doesn't have anything to do with us now," he said.

However, one player in the third row said: "I've been here for five years." Literally, a fifth-year senior and five-year redshirt.

I last saw Ohio State play Texas and Vince Young in Columbus in 2005. "That was the greatest game I've ever seen," Ruhl said. This will be the 38th Ohio State game he will see — up close.

Wouldn't it be nice if the Duplicate Number Boys were put in the game in the fourth quarter?

I went over to Tressel and asked him about THE Random Walk-Ons.

"They look like a bunch of lonely players," he said.

Tonight, THEY probably will have a water balloon fight.